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    Atlanta Singles Dating: Four Essential Skills for Singles
    By Jeff Herring

    Dating successfully requires four skills. The four essential skills for singles are scouting, sorting, screening and testing.

    Scouting - Scouting is simply looking out into the world and looking for
    people that you are attracted to. Other people such as friends and family can do
    scouting for you as well. Some people you notice will not even be considered, others may
    require further investigation, which leads to.......

    Sorting - Sorting is discarding those you automatically know will not be
    a candidate, and then pursuing further those that might be a possible match for you.

    Screening - Screening is checking out whether this person is a potential
    match for your requirements, needs and wants. For example, if you are thinking the
    clerk at the grocery store is a potential candidate, and one of your requirements is that she
    likes kids, one of the screening things you can do is say something about your kids as you
    go through the line. If she says, "Geez, how can you stand them?" you know right away
    that this person is off the list. If she says "Oh you are so lucky, you sound like a
    great dad" you know you can pursue this further.

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    Testing - Testing is checking to see, through real world interactions
    and events, if this person lives out what they talk about. For instance, if someone claims
    to be a compassionate person, and then reams out the waiter for getting the
    order wrong, you are getting valuable information that you must pay attention to.

    When you use these four essential skills for singles, you stand a much better chance of
    finding someone that could be the love of your life.

    Visit http://www.ConsciousDatingAtlanta.com for tips and strategies for finding the love of your life and the live you love. Subscribe to our f-ree 5 Day E-Course "Find the Love of Your Life" and our "Weekly Tips Newsletter". Jeff Herring is the founder and CEO of ConsciousDatingAtlanta.com and a singles and couples relationship coach, and can be reached at http://www.ConsciousDatingAtlanta.com

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    Atlanta Singles Dating Advice: How to Trust in a New Relationship
    By Jeff Herring

    Q: "I am writing to ask you to please devote a future column to trust, or more specifically, how to trust again in a new relationship."

    A: Trust can be complex, because so many elements go into having trust in a person.

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    In an attempt to simplify the issue, I've broken it down into five components, one for each letter of the word trust.

    inTegrity - A dictionary defines integrity as uprightness of character. Sounds nice, but what does that really mean?

    People have integrity when their behavior matches their words. They do what they say they are going to do. If, over time, their behavior consistently does not match their words, watch out.

    Responsibility - People mess up and make mistakes. That's just part of everyday life. The people who can be trusted take responsibility for their mistakes. They don't blame others or make excuses. When they mess up, they admit it and do what is necessary to fix it, if at all possible.

    Understanding - Another sign of trustworthiness is the ability to understand another person. You may not always agree with the other person, especially in a close relationship such as marriage. You may not always see things the exact same way.
    However, in order for trust to grow, you need to be able to see the world through another's eyes.

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    Security - We tend to trust the people with whom we feel secure. In this context, secure means safe. We feel we can be ourselves around someone and say what we really think and feel.

    Time - Time is crucial when it comes to building trust All of the above components - integrity, responsibility, understanding and security - are developed and demonstrated over time.

    It takes time to develop trust in someone, especially for people who have been hurt before.

    Visit http://www.ConsciousDatingAtlanta.com for more tips and tools for living the life you love with the love of your life. We invite you to subscribe to our f-ree 5 Day E-Course "How to Find Your Life Partner" Jeff Herring is a Singles and Relationship Coach and the Director of Conscious Dating Atlanta.

     

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